“Never forget what someone said to you when they were angry. That’s when the truth comes out.”
A lot of emotions have a distinct feeling to them. Bliss/glee/joy fills my veins slowly, like I’m a jug; I can feel the sensation seep into my every pore, and it’s relaxing and awesome and revs me up.
But then, I would classify anger as a cloud. It makes my head feel dreary and heavy, and sometimes I swear my ears feel on fire.
Once my cloud subsides, I always have a strange sense of clarity when I’m angry– I know exactly what I want, and exactly how to say it. I don’t stutter as much as I usually do; my barrage of verbal violence is pretty straightforward.
Anger is the way we express ourselves, the way we express taboos we can’t usually. Our inhibitions go down. But so do those voices urging you to rephrase things.
Each thing you shout is 100% pure and unadulterated. Your anger has blocked out any consciences warning you to hold back.
Things that are pretty minor, like little annoyances from your brother spitting when he talks to your friend always snorting obnoxiously when you refuse to share your food– those particulars always get brought up when anger makes you lash out at that person. Previous fights may too– memories you usually keep under control and may not even realize you hang on to.
Basically: do what you want, until I realize I hate it and it comes back to haunt you. That’s how victims feel when they bear the brunt of a rare but forceful wrath.
No matter what experiencing emotion is like for the individual, so many things people usually leave unsaid don’t stay that way when they’re angry.
Every thought you’ve ever had relevant to the cause of your anger suddenly has a distinct shape in the puzzle of ‘Why do I feel this way’– that’s probably why it is so easy to bring up stuff you wouldn’t normally.
Alcohol stops the voices, but if you just get angry enough occasionally…you probably won’t need all those glasses of vodka to say what’s on your mind in a negative way.