Ladadidadi, Needed time for me

Today was the Mizzou game against Toledo; that started at 2:30 PM.

At approximately 3:30 AM I decided I wasn’t going to go. I sold my ticket (via debt forgiveness for buying pizza/waffles earlier that night) to a friend, and crawled into bed, where I stayed for approximately 9 and a half hours.

Then, I got up and proceeded to stay in my room for 4 and a half more hours.

So basically I’ve been in my room for 15 hours now, only leaving for much-needed trips to the bathroom.

I’ve been productive to the max, which included:

  • hand-washing the clothes that needed it
  • reorganizing my room (kinda)
  • giving my piercings some-much needed care
  • ordering a rice cooker for my mom i.e. letting her take advantage of my free Amazon student shipping
  • perusing the Mizzou journalism website…for fun?
  • tried on the hoard of clothes from my Mizzou Store binge yesterday (found out I’m not a small… I’m an extra small? what?)
  • researching this adorbs Mizzou business I might want to get involved with
  • watching videos of cat Duan that my sister sent me
  • stalking some unnamed idols
  • rocking out to my fave The Cab Pandora station that has been much neglected

Between my classes, various Maneater tasks, tutoring job trials and errors, organization meetings, and trying to make/bond with new friends, I’ve been exhausted these past few weeks. College is so fun, but I never realized how tiring it is.

The problem with always being on my feet is I’m also too tired to really take care of myself. I haven’t gone to the rec center yet (which is sad, considering it’s apparently the best university gym in the nation), and I just realized today I haven’t taken my vitamins in three weeks.

So yeah. It’s 6:30 PM now, and I realize I sort of wasted the day. I haven’t seen daylight in a while, and maybe this is bad.

But at the same time, I didn’t really waste the day, cause I feel proud of myself for slowing down and taking it easy for once. I’m not a Type A person at all, but I’ve somehow inherited the ‘planning planning’ ‘busy busy busy’ mindset typical to them since coming to college.

Between my overeager sometimes people-pleasing attitude and perpetual urge to do everything, leave no stone unturned, I know I’m on the verge of burning out.

I think to the future here, and while I’m excited, I’m also dreading the wheel of productivity and busi-ness that might never stop turning. My weeks are packed; I leave my room in the morning, and literally do not come back until after dinner. I try to plan out my routes so I hit wherever I need to go for the day. Even if I was really big on partying, I can’t even imagine going out on a weekday.

This is indicative of a problem I used to wish I had in high school; back then I was bored literally every day, and felt depressed from the emptiness of my days. Now I’ve packed them full to bursting, and that’s probably not good.

I suppose I’ll figure it out soon. Meanwhile, I should probably venture out of my dorm, seeing as I haven’t eaten in 16 hours now.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s