Lightning in a rainless sky

The sky lit up tonight with a fleeting glance

At Heaven herself, split open, the cracks of light spilling out for all on Earth to see

On a drive home down the I-5, you see it through your windshield

Purple, then white-gold outlines, instantly gone

A vision of what all could be if you believed only your eyes

Then it flashes again! Five minutes later

Another lovely peek, but never enough to stay

It’s weird because it hasn’t yet stormed, and you wouldn’t even know anything was brewing

Save for those few minutes showing up the rest of the world

What a sight

You wait and see if there’s more

But other than those lights, so quick you can’t even take a picture

No thunder claps

No water drops

You can’t even say if you hallucinated it all

****

Sometimes I feel like that lightning

In a rainless sky

And without rain, lightning has no business being above us

It poses a threat, but only one gleaned cognitively through the sights

There’s no accompanying boom to shake our ears, no accompanying wetness to pelt our face

Lightning in a rainless sky is simply something to look at, observe the potentiation

But never real enough to touch as a threat

As something to be feared or loved, either

It’s off impacting someone else, somewhere else, we don’t have a responsibility to feel it

And often I feel I am that light in passing

The privilege of being pretty

The privilege of invoking wonder in others

But nothing if it doesn’t make a sound that splits the sky open

That makes people stop and marvel

****

Often I am as quiet as those flashes of lightning in a rainless sky

And people assume I don’t have any thunder behind me because I choose to honor space

Giving you all something to value from miles away

But you can’t touch me, hear me, smell me

You can only see me… see a part of me

****

And right now, unfortunately, I am not a force like you’ve said

I am not an inspiration

I am lightning, detachedly observed via my blog

Never heard, or seen, or felt

I want to be your thunder, shaking you so hard you scream from feeling me resonate through your entire body —

****

I run outside onto my balcony, and I furiously am shaking

That I don’t get to be more real than lightning in a rainless sky

But not tonight

Even if it doesn’t rain, I will be fury anyway

Hear me roar, I shout

Except I don’t shout. I can’t raise my voice, for I wasn’t taught to

I was taught to be silent, like lightning, as it goes a majestic way visually

Just as I do when I unleash my keyboard and I type out everything I’ve ever wanted to scream, thundering all of my feelings I want to be honored

I whisper into the void, I am here, so hear me roar

****

And if I can’t jolt you

Can I nourish you

Like water does for the plants?

Please

****

And as if it heard me

Suddenly I am shocked that the sky

Opens up and lets down a single tear

Followed by another

And another

And another

Like a promise from the universe

That lightning is never in a rainless sky

****

I am up north

And you are down south

And sometimes I wonder if you see the same lightning

Or if this sky is different

And I feel my heart clench that maybe if you will it so, it will always be rainless

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